April 28, 2012

What’s up erryboday? So, I’m kinda dead. By that I mean I got into bed around 3:00AM last night, and I’ve gotten up twice. It’s now 6:30PM. The fucks I give? Exactly zero. Anyway, the reason I’m kinda dead is because last night was the last Friday night before finals. Last week, I messaged all my friends saying “LET’S GO TO [Insert Name of Gay Club Here] ONE LAST TIME BEFORE SUMMER!” To which general reaction from my friends was “Meh.” So, I’m like: 

And I decide I don’t care WHO I go with but I’m going out. Luckily, FR has a change of heart and we go put our hot girl disguises on. (Not gonna lie, we have designated clubbing outfits. We’re cute.) We decide since it’s cold as tits that we’d just go when the club opens to avoid the line and just deal with the creepy old men and the bad cover band before the actual dancing starts. That’s when I notice BFC awkwardly dancing next to a group of wasted middle-aged women.

So, FR and I keep a safe distance, and keep waiting for the cover band to finish their set, when GB2 walks in…then walks right past me…with a guy. Then, I get a text from BBGF saying that MFB is in the room where we’re going back to after the club. I just think EVERY FUCKING TIME. But it’s fine because the music starts and they’re playing amazing stuff. So after dancing with FR for a bit, I go to the bathroom. (Where I encounter both a blowjob and full on sex. Yeah, I go to classy establishments.) When I come back, I find FR, who has also found someone. Here’s the best representation I have of what I saw:

He’s gonna kill me when he reads this. I LOVE YOU! Not wanting to be a cockblock, I walk away (after a few moments of awkwardly swaying next to them) and encounter one of the other guys who I work with at the library. He’s like “HEYYYYYYY YOUUU!! HOW DO YOU LIKE WORKING AT THE LIBRARY?!” Now, this may have been a great conversation starter, if we hadn’t had many conversations at work before, but I just went along with it since he was obviously out of his mind drunk. “SO. MUCH. FUN.”

Then, he smiles and raises his hand for what I think is a high five, so I put my hand to his and he interlaces his fingers with mine, and comes up close to my face and whispers “I turned 21 on Wednesday” and makes a face, which I couldn’t really decode. Then, his friends come over, he lets my hand go, and runs away.

See you Tuesday…So I walk around for a while and go back to find FR, who is now with a different guy (although the previous gif is still applicable), so I walk away again. After narrowly avoiding BFC, I throw myself into the crowd and look at my phone to see what time it is. I look up and see someone motioning towards me. Suddenly, we’re making out. He told me his name…which I promptly forgot (though I have narrowed it down to two possibilities).

Sorry I’m not sorry. So, he pulls me against the wall, and we continue kissing for an unknown amount of time, until he stops and asks if we can sit down and talk. I said sure, and we did. Then, he asked if we could leave and go talk somewhere. YOU ARE ARE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I thought back to last time I did something like that, and my brain screamed:

I looked at my phone, and I had a missed call and three texts from FR saying he was outside the club. So, I stand up and say “I’m sorry, I really have to go!” It was very Gay Cinderella. I start running through the darkness of the club and slightly trip. BUT, I got right back up and ran outside. I start looking around, then I see FR and he was like “DID YOU GET SOME?” and I said “YES!” “ME TOO!” “I KNOW!” And, then we skipped merrily back to campus.